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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Dec 3, 2005 11:28:21 GMT -8
We've all heard about people having guts or balls.
But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to
keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below:
GUTS ~ is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being
assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are
you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS ~ is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of
perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass
and having the balls to say: "You're next."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
;D
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 4, 2005 19:52:21 GMT -8
so do tell, what do you have erin?? guts, or balls? i am betting on guts....  |
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 4, 2005 19:54:24 GMT -8
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was
almost zero, when the blonde got off work. She made her way
to the parking lot and wondered how she was going to make it home.
She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her snowy
situation. She then remembered her daddy's advice that if she ever
got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snowplow to come by
and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snow drift.
This made her feel much better and sure enough, in a little while, a
snowplow went by and she started to follow it.
As she followed the snowplow, she was feeling very smug as they
continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard
conditions.
After quite some time had passed, she was somewhat surprised when
the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her
car and signalled for her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver
wanted to know if she was all right, as she had been following him for
a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's
advice to follow a snowplow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue if
she wanted, but he was done with the Zellers parking lot and was
going over to Canadian Tire next.
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 4, 2005 20:03:30 GMT -8
 global warming |
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 5, 2005 9:48:19 GMT -8
A Priest was about to leave His Mission in the jungles where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English, so he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."
The Priest pleased with the response. They walk a little farther and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
The Priest really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, "My bike."
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 5, 2005 9:50:52 GMT -8
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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Dec 5, 2005 14:53:54 GMT -8
LMAO! good ones Oh, and yeah: Guts  |
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Post by Mudslut on Dec 5, 2005 23:21:39 GMT -8
Balls all the way! Dont let Dana read this. ;D
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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Dec 6, 2005 8:27:01 GMT -8
Lmao! sure, sure! ;D
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 6, 2005 13:07:20 GMT -8
my lips are sealed my friend.... erin, don't reel bad- corey has guts too. |
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 6, 2005 21:29:18 GMT -8
THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that."Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test.
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 6, 2005 21:46:02 GMT -8
A blonde, brunette and a redhead were all in a swimming race.
They were supposed to swim the English Channel.
A group of spectators anxiously awaited the three women at the
finish line. The brunette came in first, then the redhead a
little later. They waited hours for the blonde to show up. When
she finally did, they asked her what had taken her so long.
The blonde was very upset as she screamed, "This was supposed
to be a breast stroke race, and those girls were using their
arms!!!"
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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Dec 6, 2005 21:56:13 GMT -8
LMAO! Freaking blondes eh?
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Lurker
Weekend Warrior
Posts: 115
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Post by Lurker on Dec 6, 2005 23:34:20 GMT -8
I think it depends on the occasion for guts and balls. Most of the time I have guts, but a few times i've had balls.  |
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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Dec 7, 2005 0:03:22 GMT -8
LOL, I bet you have |
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Post by mudqueen on Dec 7, 2005 16:47:37 GMT -8
you have balls when you are attached to a female in some way or another????or is just when you are single?  |
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Post by mudqueen on Jan 8, 2006 17:42:06 GMT -8
ok all of you guys that are couples that have no kids. this a reminder for you. those of us who have kiddies around..we have to be dilligent. this is hillarious. and it dosen't have to be in the naughty room, it's a foot massager!!! Click here to watch ikea2_1 |
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Post by mudqueen on Jan 13, 2006 22:33:53 GMT -8
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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Jan 13, 2006 22:45:06 GMT -8
LMAO! is there adig there? That need to be on another site as well! ;D |
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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Jan 13, 2006 22:59:29 GMT -8
Hey, with all this shit going on, do I have Gut or Balls now? |
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bigblockcowboy
Weekend Warrior
Corporal post-whore
The devil made me do it! TWICE!!!
Posts: 197
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Post by bigblockcowboy on Jan 14, 2006 0:16:18 GMT -8
Not knowing the whole deal, I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say balls?
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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Jan 14, 2006 9:47:31 GMT -8
I'm sure Shannon will chime in here PDQ ;D
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Post by mudqueen on Jan 16, 2006 22:04:37 GMT -8
I THINK YOU EARNED THEM BALLS DON"T GO LOSIN' EM TO SOME FREAKIN' BIMBO, SHE'S GOTTA RUN THE GAUNTLET OF THE MUDDERS.
ok guys what would you say i have--balls, or guts? did you see the bruise i left on corey's arm when i punched him yesterday? he called me a bitch...
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Post by Dodgeboy426 on Jan 16, 2006 23:19:14 GMT -8
you have balls that "clank" baby! |
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Post by mudqueen on Jan 17, 2006 15:44:15 GMT -8
good cause if you can hear em' you'd better watch out
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